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Thou shall not covet thy neighbour’s rig: nor his ass

Author: Mitch Ladyman

Author: Mitch Ladyman

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Thou shall not covet thy neighbour’s rig: nor his ass
This was a weird one and yes, it is about rig envy and asses.

It all starts on a small farm in Capel, in the south-west of Western Australia. This is the Ironstone Capel 200 and it is another one of W.A.'s non-competitive enduro rides. Apparently it is not a race, though the organisers did forget to mention this during the rider's brief. I think it is sponsored by Yamaha.

So, what is Rig Envy. It is like boat envy which is a lot like penis envy. It is that feeling that you get when you put your heart and soul and all your creative talent into designing your toy hauler / camper trailer and then someone turns up with one that is somewhat better. Unlike boat envy and penis envy, another man's rig (or woman’s but that just feels awkward and wrong) does not have to be bigger to be better. It just must be built better; finished better and have more practical applications. More 'wow I want one like that'.

Here is mine. Now in my defence I am time poor and cannot weld to save myself. So, my rig comprises an assimilation of ad hoc decisions made on the fly and usually communicated to someone that can weld, over the phone, in between corporate conference calls made on the road, usually on my way to another remote biological survey. As such, it looks a little......well, less polished than most. But my rig has been to the ends of the earth and back so, even if it was pretty there is no hope it will stay pretty. It does the job, right down to the ikea kitchen sink (yes, I am not being facetious: it is an ikea sink).
Thou shall not covet thy neighbour’s rig: nor his ass
It has the gas bottle and Gerry can mounts. It has an awning out either side, a couple of tables and a roof-top camper. There are lights, so I can see, and water tanks so I don't get thirsty. It is rough, but it is mine and I like it However, that does not preclude the fact that I will continue to covet thy neighbour’s rig.
Thou shall not covet thy neighbour’s rig: nor his ass
This chap is serious, and he has the number plate to prove it. No prizes for guessing where their super went! If that is a little too 'off the shelf' how about this one. I am loving the water tanks and I am sure there it a reason behind the design. At least he was nice enough to build a three-bike trailer. Obviously his friends were 'busy' this weekend
Thou shall not covet thy neighbour’s rig: nor his ass
If you are afraid of the elements or you are unable to read your weather App you can always erect a giant igloo like these boys did. However, if you are tough as nails and your skin is Teflon coated such that the cold just slide right off you can just erect a gazebo and swag it. RESPECT.
Thou shall not covet thy neighbour’s rig: nor his ass
Though he lacks a sleeper, as he is obviously not hard-core enough to overnight, this guy gets a Guernsey because he has his own acronyms and they are hard to top. Team Sober (Silly Old Bugger Enjoying Riding).
Thou shall not covet thy neighbour’s rig: nor his ass
So where do asses fit in? I am getting around to it. A strapping young chap on a beautiful Husaberg decided to insert his rear tyre in a rut on the right and his front tyre into a rut on the left of a logging track. Of course, he had a little slip and his bike dug in to the centre mound like a ground hog.

This somehow launched him up into the air and down onto his foot peg. No, this was no 'three-point swish' and his coight remains as it was. However, the flesh and fatty deposits of his right buttock will need some work. Lucky for him the Good Doctor was right up his coight when he crashed and after I peeled myself out from between his bike and mine I proceeded to, very awkwardly, administer first aid. I am not a butt kind of guy, nor am I am medical doctor, but it is fair to say I did a damn fine job inserting gauze through the gaping hole in his strides and then winding him up in a broad crepe bandage, so he could ride (standing up) to the next medical station.

Not to put to finer point on it, the poor bugger now has about four drag lines from where the teeth of the peg sliced him before it dug in and peeled his ectoderm, endoderm and mesoderm back like a sardine tin lid. And the poor guy is a Postie. How is his luck?

So how on earth are asses and rigs related. Well it is quite simple really. No matter how efficient your rig is to set up, it must be packed up at the end of a ride. My advice is to pack it up before blasting off because you simply never know what shape you will be in at the back end of the ride (sorry, you all had that coming).
If you want to experience Capel in 360 degrees here is some action from Dave Marriotts Productions


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